Where did I come from?

Hi there lovely people-

After reading about others and their life’s journey to live simply, I realized they all gave a background of where they came from and why they decided to make a change in their life. So, here I am to give that background as well, and maybe connect more with others!

It is always a little weird to talk about yourself, especially when it comes to reflecting on your past, as your mind over time will change stories and you start to remember moments slightly differently. It’s so interesting how a moment can be remembered differently between the people involved in the memory. ANYWAY! before I get caught up in all these thoughts, I will move on to, where did I come from?!

Born and raised in Northern California, I grew up enjoying a simple life. It never felt like we were trying to show off with material things or paint a picture that wasn’t true. My oldest memories involve me wanting freedom in everything I did. Growing up what some may call, “fast”, I looked forward to the day of responsibilities and living a life I could build for myself. Like any child, I had many ideas of what I wanted to be when I “grew up”, from being a singer, to the first Woman President. I enjoyed learning and was that student who sat in the front row in class, eager to be taught. I was an average student although I didn’t always get great grades because of my wandering abilities and sometimes pure no interest in what was being taught. Not feeling very challenged, I started ditching school when I was 11 yeas old, I wasn’t rallying any kids to go with me and wasn’t doing it to be “cool”, I just wanted to be alone and wander, most days I ended up hanging out at the local playground by myself. Never telling my friends or family, I never felt scared of being caught or kid-napped, aware of my surroundings, I did what I wanted to. Both parents worked, so some days I walked home and climbed in through a window, watched some Save by the Bell and walked myself back to school. I enjoyed being alone, I enjoyed being with friends too, but growing up in a house being 1 of 4 kids, I enjoyed peace and quiet, no one telling me what to do or when to do it. This wandering continued all the way through high school, of course in HS I was ditching to drive out to the coast and enjoy the fresh sea air, not hanging out at the play ground. I was much more mature than most adults liked to treat kids my age, I have memories of questioning authority often and not meeting many adults that I felt really were living a life I wanted to live.

I was in detention or after school programs a lot in middle school because of wearing tank tops. Tank tops! I was a good kid, not doing drugs, indulging in alcohol or bullying others. I was involved in the school’s leadership group and was the kid who really got along with everyone. I made connections with people that were from all the different “groups” and generally felt happy. I fought back hard against the no tank top rule because it just didn’t make sense to me. “Because it makes it hard for boys to concentrate in class” I was told by the principal. Sounds like a personal problem, eyeroll. I was so excited to get the heck out of there and move onto high school.

Typical awkward teenager days- I was a tom boy and enjoyed playing sports and attending sport games to actually watch the games. Friends starting have boyfriends and were more “girly” than me, wearing makeup and doing their hair. Yep, I still don’t do that, haha. I just liked to be simple, but didn’t quiet understand why, or what that meant, I just felt different than a lot of people around me, I enjoyed going to bed early, waking up early and spending time alone. Of course to feel more a part of the crowd I changed and molded myself as needed to feel like I “fit in”. As a result like many teenagers, I spent many years not feeling like myself, I was lost. All in all I had a nice childhood, we lived simply, we had problems and hard times, but who doesn’t? I learned so much by watching others, I didn’t get in a lot of trouble growing up because I was smart about my moves and was purposely careful. I had a wisdom about me, being told often that I was “wise beyond my years”, I wasn’t sure what that meant, I just knew I wanted to live how I wanted to live and I surely didn’t want anyone getting in the way of that.

Years, jobs, friends, and relationships all went by and soon I found myself again.

I found myself once I returned to the peace I have within. I spent more time outside, wandering alone. I didn’t buy material items because they made my life “easier” or because they were trending. I stopped spending so many nights out late and returned to waking up with the sunlight. I started cooking more with music on and spending time in the space I created for myself. I had responsibilities and I was proud of them, I was living life the way I wanted and I felt so free! For many years I lived in a tiny cabin with few belongings and little space on the inside, but so much space outside to roam! This is when I came to realize, I hadn’t been myself for so long, I thrived in simplicity. I started to see and feel the pressure of people around me and our culture in general to make me want more, do more and be more! I pushed this idea away hard, however I would get pushed back hard sometimes too and some days it feels that I just can’t win. So I would get quiet and I go wander alone outside to get away from the noise and enjoy the natural sounds of this beautiful earth!

I started traveling alone, domestically and internationally to expand my view of the world and see how other cultures live. I was disappointed with the culture around me. There is a reason that people love traveling and I think a lot of it has to do with feeling like you are getting away. We get so stuck in routine and problems that we think are actually bigger than they are. I love seeing how people live in different places around the world. We think the way we live feels “normal” because it is what we are used to or it’s what everyone else around us is doing- traveling to different cultures is a beautiful wake up call that there are so many ways to live! Live the way you want because it is what you want, not because it is what the society around you is telling you to want. I like to step back and ask myself, “why am I doing this?” or “why do I think I need that?” Understanding ourselves, I think, is part of the journey to true happiness, because if you can understand yourself and live a life being your true self, you will have experiences that fill your lifetime with joy, compassion and freedom.

Rooting my life in simplicity is where I thrive. A simplified lifestyle is truly a journey, not a destination. We don’t reach simplicity one day, we are forever growing and learning how to think, live and be more simplified.

Cheers to life!

Thanks for reading!- CP